Shooting stars

The old house has a porch at the back. Behind the house a view on the artificial lake. I could sit there for hours, smoking, drinking. Waiting.

"I knew I would have found you here..."

I was spacing out I didn't hear you coming.

"I am so happy you made it...I am never sure if you will be able to reach me but every time I come here I really hope to find you"

"I want to be here too"

You seat next to me on the wooden planks of the porch floor and you place your hand on my leg.

We both seat there, the head leaning on the shallow walls, our eyes shut, close to each other in silence.

I lay my hand on yours.

Entangled fingers.

My eyes are still closed, I don't dare to look at you because I know that I will not be able to hold back if I look into your eyes.

I am scared, I don't want you to get bored of this. I don't want you to get bored of me.

I squeeze my eyes closed, until they hurt.

I feel you moving and after a while you are sitting on my lap, your arms around my neck your head resting on my chest.

Don't open your eyes Boris. Don't open your eyes...you could wake up if you do. You could lose his image if you do.

You are kissing me softly. I feel your teeth grazing my neck, I feel your tongue, shyly tasting my skin.

Don't open your eyes Boris

"D-don't...you are.." I hear you smiling, your warm breath makes me shiver.

"I won't leave. You are not asking this, but I know that's what you want. I am in your mind remember?"

You never talk so much. What's with this now? Are you trying to convince me that I am crazy about you?

as if it would be necessary.

Your hands are now touching me.

I am so out of control.

Normally I like to be lost but now I am scared.

"S-stop...stop it, now we are still on time..."

Your hands don't listen to me. I let myself fall on the floor.

Your hands.

How much I wanted to feel that cold on my heated skin.

Are we making love because we like that? is it just some ritual, some sort of extreme greeting?

Are we making love because we need each other, because we are one?

Are we making love because we are in love?

It's me. It's my imagination creating feelings in the void.

But why is your body shaking? Why are your hands hesitating?

Don't open your eyes Boris.

This magic is all you have.

All my life I have been looking for fire. For a man, a woman, a demon who could be able to make me burn, without consuming.

And now you are here. I don't care if tomorrow I am going to pay with pain all the pleasure I am feeling now. It's worthy, you are worthy.

I feel your tongue, so eager, and skilled. I feel your skin on my lips, than the taste of you, spicy but sweet so enchanting almost hypnotic.

I feel your strength in me like a firework of lust.

"Bo..."

say my name...say it...

"Boris, I want you..."

I am yours already...don't you see it?

"I...I am not asking you to be mine. I just give you myself. For as long as you need me to be yours..." It's difficult to talk, my head is a mess of thoughts, my body is a hurricane on sensations. But I want you to know. I want you to know so that you don't run away.

What is a man without dreams?

What would I be without you? A fucking living routine. A walking corpse, letting his life being lived by the time.

You know how to turn me on and you never fail to bring me there, where our pleasure melts and we fall like shooting stars.

Your breath follows mine and you let yourself rest in my arms exhausted.

"Why don't we just stay here forever, baby?" I say ecstatic.

you don't answer but place a tired kiss on my neck.

"We don't have forever...not yet Bo..."

I know it, but it hurts me to hear that

"I know..." I sulk.

You take my hand and you bring me inside the house, on the red pillows where we first made love.

"Try to sleep now..."

you push me down and rest your head on my chest and let yourself be hold.

You are still cold and I am burning hot...nothing seems to have changed. I am happy.

I slowly sink into the dark subdued realm of sleep, taking with me memories and sensations.

I know you're not going to be here when I wake up, but this feeling of you will always be waiting together with me until I find you again.