Tuesday 3 April 2012

Tomorrow

He was walking down the empty boulevard. The street lights were zooming in a disturbing way. He stopped in front of the window of a closed shop. The light was still on in the background room, but it suddenly went off and the only thing Ben could see was his blurry image reflected in the dirty glass.
He faked a smile. That was such a long time that he didn't feel like smiling. Since Rubs had left his world he had become like a picture in black and white.
'What do I care...' he said to himself getting back to his somber expression.
Ben walked slowly to the club house. The pub never closed. Before entering the door he gave a look to his pocket watch, it was almost three o'clock. 'Maybe I should just go home...' he thought shaking his head 'a drink won't kill me' he coincluded and he stepped in.
The room was populated by a few individuals. A couple of them had let they heads fall on the table with one hand still holding the empty glass.
Ben sat at the counter 'a dark pint...' he said looking around.
'fine...'
The answer came like a burning dagger in his ears.
He turned and there he was, Rubs, he didn't change for a thing in all the years he had been away.
Ben couldn't help but stare at him.
'I am back...don't you have anything to say?'
Ben couldn't decide if he felt like killing him or what else.
Rubs came out from behind the counter and he sat next to him.
His grey eyes pinned into Ben's chocolate brown ones.
With a light sweet smile on his lips he caressed Ben face.
It was like he had been waiting for that touch forever.
Tears began burning into his eyes and he tried to send them back.
Rubs pulled him towards himself and Ben didn't oppose resistance.
'Let's go home...' he said enjoying the warmth of Rubs' hands 'We'll talk about all tomorrow.'
Where feeling fill the void there is not so much need for words and however you look at it there is always enough space for a tomorrow.

Awakening: the journey.

The sun was setting slowly like it would be waiting for something. I stopped walking and I looked at the horizon. Maybe I had always known that, you don't find the meaning in the destination but during your journey, day by day.
I sat under a tree enjoying the sounds of the evening.
A night full of stars came soon and after it a beautiful dawn.
I washed myself in the cold water of a river, singing my ancestors songs and I resumed my trip.

I am still walking. The path in front of me is endless and I can't see the point where I have left anymore,but my heart is full of courage and proud. Nothing but raindrops and sunbeams to keep me company. I walk. I still walk towards the end of my way, with a smile on my face, and light in my heart.

Monday 2 April 2012

stay away, Boris is back.

The sensation of being so free and unconditioned...it was such a long time.
I have been disgusted by life and myself and I have looked for things I didn't need in the wrong places again.Again.
Now I found a place where nobody can reach me.
I would like to be able to hide there forever, but sometimes life calls me.

I love life as much as I am sure there can't be life free of pain.

I prefer living alone, without your selfish help.

Now I just need all the images of a recent past to disappear in order to be happy.

A log time ago, when life was easy I had promised myself to be faithful to my principles. I have stepped on them so many time in the meantime.

That's why I am here today, to get once again on that path I had chosen.

If anything, if anyone ever comes in my way I will spit fire and use claws of steel to defend my freedom.

Welcome back, Boris.