I hope it's something that can be operated.
I want to write just one word the one that makes me feel alive. But it's stuck, like someone who said "I am not leaving" but in the eyes you see a light showing they have already left. I am trying to keep myself from feeling because feeling is something that never gave me long happyness But I lost control of this engine. And the feelings come out of it like gasses, that make me suffocate. Still I am happy, because I knew that illusions show their face just in that moment when you think they have become real. and for the first time I didn't run away but went to crash on it full speed. I knew someone who told me that you cannot be deceived but only deceive yourself. I strongly believe that. Nobody has the power to hurt you if you don't allow that. I have created a time bomb and kept it on my lap, caressing it while waiting for it to explode (and I am able to let time pass fast when it doesn't have to) Now that I am surrounded by Pieces of something I can't recognize I feel like nothing is imoportant anymore. Nothing but that one word. |
No comments:
Post a Comment