eternity is a marble

I thought we would have been together forever. I was sure that you and I would have spent our life looking at each other, looking together at the horizon.
But you died. You just died and there is no better or simpler way to say that.
After that, the void, the sadness, the sense of guilt, the apathy, swallowed my life.


I had no reason to be, without you.


“I will always find a way to protect you” you said


I don’t know about love, but if love ever existed for me, I think it was there with you.


I have passed my life looking for something, trying to find you in unknown eyes, but I just found disillusion and humiliation, I found out that not everybody is kind, I have been used and left alone.


With the time I have learned the meaning of the word cruelty. I have lied, cheated, hurt on purpose. I have run away as soon as feelings were involved and I have punished myself every single time I felt happy for something…or someone.


Even now that I have a lot of years I can count behind my back, I am the first to run away for the fear of being left alone.


I write to you now because I am scared, I am scared of letting myself go into the wave of emotions crashing into me.
I know my limits and I know that the line I am stepping on is narrow and fragile.
I know that the rose light in the sky always hides the darkness of the night.


…But, please, tell me I can dream some more…dream about a chest where I can rest my head, about delicate fingers combing my hair, warm lips to kiss my pain away.


You told me you would have never let me down, proof this to me and give me this dream.


Tomorrow the dark will be there again and I my body and soul will be cold and restless.
But today, today I have a warm shelter where I can hide.


It will not be too long before we will be able to meet again and then I won’t let you leave anymore, I am going to sink my teeth into your flesh and take you, I am going to burn in hell, just to feel your warmth, once more.


But not yet…not yet.