disgustingly human

I often ask myself if all this struggle that we call life it's worthy something or if we are just making fools of ourselves. Mostly I get to one answer. We are so disgustingly human.

We love to hear the words never and forever, breath eternity while we are noting more than a potential handful of ashes.

Maybe I am a pessimist, but that's because I know that optimists are poison. They will always see the good side of life just because they are too superficial to admit things rarely turn out as we would like them to, or because they are too scared to realize that whatever they do, the time will outrun them.

I would like to be able to step on the other side, but that's not my nature.

my foot are too heavy, I am not going to fly. Still I like to see the stunts of those having a light soul. I am not jealous of other people lightness, but I am quite peculiar with my own heaviness. I am not a victim, nor a martyr.

I am a man who chose to live like what he is, he accepted the fear, he welcomed the pain, since that is the only real proof he is alive.

Never. Always.

In my vocabulary they are smaller than a marble.

I will love you forever...what about my forever eventually finishing tomorrow? tell me, my love, does a forever made of one day has the same value of one lasting a million years?

I will love you with all myself. That's what counts to me.

I will love you even when you are mad at me, I will love you even when you are edgy and standoffish, I will love you every day I still have with all the force I have left.

But love is something we can't control, love is something we can't even define.

We gather all the feelings we can't label, we push them together in the name of LOVE, to celebrate ourselves.

I won't let this happen to me. I will not give up the essence to feel better. Whatever it is...affection, lust, interest, attraction, fear...I will feel, I will feel as much as I can.

I will be living for you every minute I have left. You will feel my presence, you will not be allowed to feel lonely.

I will probably fail a thousand times. I will make mistakes and ask for forgiveness. I will try to run away from you. I will beg for your attention or I will deny you mine to let you understand that I have missed you.

I will stand there and watch you even if you are not going to see me or to realize the you are this wave that is crashing on me.

I will stand there and protect you. Forget about myself and live the rest of my life only for you.

My reward will be the taste of your lips, the warmth of your body and the sound of your voice calling out my name.

And that will make it worthy to my eyes because...I am so disgustingly human.