slow fast slow

Do you remember me? It's been such a long time ago.

I never thought you could be interested in someone like me, so usual, so somber.

I looked at you my eyes caressing the line of your jaw, quick and voluptuous sign of desire.

Right on that moment you looked up and the line of a smile signed your face.

I don't blush.

Ever.

I only felt I needed to leave.

The night after I came back.

The same pub.

You weren't there and the feeling of disappointment left immediately the place to joy.

I was happy I didn't need to see you.

You were some new reason to lose my concentration, to lose focus on what life was so keen to give me for free.

"Hi."

the sound of your voice so cold, toneless.

"Hi." I replied without looking at you.

Your turned around me and sat beside me.

"You know" you said, your voice making each word sound sweet "I think you like me"

I laughed, a bitter laugh.

"You surely are one son of a bitch"

I hissed trough my teeth.

you smiled again.

"I was thinking...what about going to the sea? Just the two of us. Then you can go on insulting me...I'm intrigued."

I laughed. The bitter taste had already left my words and 'maybe' I think 'it's not even such a bad idea' and all the thoughts of focus and concentration and stay-out-of-trouble stuff shift in the background.
It has been such a long time ago.
I can still see the colour of your eyes. I thought you were unreadable since the first time I saw you. I thought it was a very bad idea and that I would have been the one to leave this story in pieces.
And here I am, after five years still thinking about you.
What a man am I? Lost in a dream that never comes back, lost in the past, so buried in memories that I don't even see life rolling away under my feet.
I will spend the rest of the day reading.
A science book, something about micro-expressions.
I hope that will keep my mind away for you for a while.
I turn the radio on.
"in the moonligh"...
Oh, damn! I think I'll dream some more maybe...

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